WALT: we are learning to retell the story of Okātia in our own words.
Description: we did a story of Okātia on a docs tui made it but she shared it to me quentin grace zyd and quiana and we made the story but grace and quentin wanted the edit all the story's and he did me and zyd's.
Evaluation: I think I did good but I did the same word over and over again so that is why quentin editied mine and zyd's first.
Feedback: I think you did very well with it but I think you could of don more writing so I give you a yellow
Feedfoward: you need to make your sentences smaller
Retold by Quentin Durston and Tui Joseph.
Many, many centuries ago, when technology wasn't even thought of, there was an enormous, muscular, mighty totara tree. It was tougher than any other tree that ever lived! In it lived a spirit! His name was Okātia. One day the birds told him something about Moana. He also heard that Moana was bigger than him! He was furious and full of anger! He tugged his roots out of the ground, and he started stomping like a giant dinosaur crushing the trees with his giant roots!
Retold by Grace Berkeley And Quiana Rastrick
Okātia was tumbling and turning through the forest with rage. The ground shook with power. Okātia demolished the trees as his roots went past. Tāne was enraged, his children were being crushed! Okātia felt even more angry. he didn't want anyone or anything bigger than him! He said that he was the best out of everything! The sea called Okātia and he got more and more determined to get there! The ground shook with lots of power! He started carving the gorge by crushing and destroying the great wall of rock!
Retold by Memphis Winterburn and Zyd E.
When Okātia got through the gorge he found Foxton beach. He was sinking very very fast like he was in quicksand. He didn't like it! Soon he ran into the water and he was drowning in the water as fast as a ferrari on a race track. He was coming a part of the sea. He tasted salt water and it was the most disgusting water he had ever tasted. Okātia was being dragged out into the sea! In a minute or two Okātia was gone far out in the sea and was never seen again.